It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that they are “moving on with their life”, or to have someone advise us that we should move on with our lives. It is worth considering in what context the idea of moving on is generally used. First of all, we are not generally told we should move […]
Most parents would like to delay their child’s first sexual experience. Research indicates that the only way to really do that is prevention. Prevention means talking to our kids about physicality when they are very young, and talking about sexuality when they are about to begin middle school. Parents can hesitate doing this for many […]
“We hooked up last night.” This is a statement bound to provoke not only anxiety but confusion in the mind of parents of teens and young adults. Most parents remember a time when sexual experimentation was more explicit. There were “bases” and making out was very different from doing it. Now, hooking up can mean […]
Parents who faithfully use time outs with their children as a form of discipline can still find that they are “not working”. The temper tantrums, oppositional behaviors, and meltdowns remain unchanged. Parents can even find that their children will place themselves in the designated spot for a time out while continuing to act out. Our […]
The other day I walked by a driveway where a young woman and her father were having a discussion. Or trying to. They were standing near the open door of a car from which came the piercing shrieks of a child who sounded not quite 2 years old. The woman was talking about how she […]
When it comes to the American canon on parenting, separation/individuation is a big deal. It involves the idea that once a child starts walking, the ideal parent’s main focus should be getting out of the way. And it all heats up in adolescence, when it is assumed that a child can only become a competent, […]
I wish forgiveness weren’t so complicated. It’s hard enough to do, so it shouldn’t be so hard to figure out how to do it, and also when not to do it. Forgiveness is not only misunderstood, it is also misused. Forgiveness comes into play when a person or persons wrongs us in some way. If […]
The concept of boundaries is an important one in human relationships. Infants don’t know where they end and another person starts. Learning this is part of healthy development. It’s part of the “no” stage for 2 year-olds. By saying no, toddlers are beginning to practice the art of individuation, a tiny step in the direction […]
Every religion, Buddhism (a path to Enlightenment), and secular humanism include some variant of “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself”. This is the bedrock of our humanity, and it’s quite impossible to posit a moral code without basic respect and care for the other. My goodness though, don’t we try to get around this! Various iterations […]
Our firstborn spoke early. By eighteen months, she was insinuating herself into conversations with “let’s talk about life” or “how are we all getting along?” One evening she was lying on the rug, uncharacteristically playing with a doll. It was the sort of doll where the eyes shut when you lay it down, but she […]