Triangulation

In relationships, triangulation occurs when a dyad (2 people) is experiencing conflict or tension, and pulls in another person to help stabilize the connection. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this idea, except for the fact that it’s almost always done in a dishonest and manipulative fashion. The dyad is either unaware of the problems in […]

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Feminism, Family Style

In the last 100 years since Suffrage, the Women’s Movement has done a great deal to enable gender equality in the workplace, put domestic violence on the map, advocate for reproductive freedom, maternity leave, and many other gains. Women, and men, owe much to the courage and determination of those who have fought for equality. […]

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Motive

This week a man gunned down 8 people in Atlanta. They were all hard-working, underpaid women, and most were Asian-American. Following terrorist attacks like this, the media is perpetually focused on motive. It seems like nothing can really be decided about the crime until someone comes up with a reason why it was committed. Why […]

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A Very, Very Bad Day

The Very, Very Bad Day It was surprisingly warm for the Saturday morning before Thanksgiving, and my husband was doing something in the yard. My two teenaged daughters were in their rooms, primping and chatting. My 11 y/o daughter and my 7 y/o son were wrestling on the family room rug.  I was in the […]

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Trauma & Evil

A great many people go to great lengths to avoid the reality of evil.  This is especially true when it comes to evil deeds committed by people, rather than governments or corporate entities. In my experience, there are two exceptions to this tendency.  One is for African Americans, who cannot avoid the evil reality of […]

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Psychotherapy & Reciprocity

To be sure, psychotherapy is a relationship. Personal and relational growth and healing takes place within the context of a relationship. Apps for anxiety, PTSD and other emotional struggles can be quite helpful. But they rarely take the place of a relationship, nor does research indicate that they have the same efficacy. It is relationships, […]

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Condoms & Culture

I think we’ve established that the culture affects our relationships and our families. But does it also find its way into our bedrooms? You betcha! Just recently I was talking with a delightful young couple. Their relationship is committed, and their communication and conflict resolution skills are excellent. They are both pleased and satisfied with […]

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Lonely? Alone?

Being lonely is about not having people around us, about not having people in our orbit with whom we are close enough to just be ourselves.  We feel lonely when we don’t have enough people we can trust, trust with our deepest selves, trust to lend a hand if we need it. Loneliness is feeling […]

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God Bless Who?

Recently I was stuck in traffic and noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front of me.  It read “God Bless Our Troops.  Especially the Snipers”.    The first part – God Bless Our Troops – okay I get that.  Of course we all uphold the courage and sacrifice of the brave men and women […]

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Small Mitzvahs

With some regularity while out and about, I’ll encounter a child being verbally abused.  A parent or caretaker may be aggressive, demeaning, or threatening to the child. The child’s pain is palpable, as he tries to compact himself into an even smaller package.  Lest we ever forget, in these moments a parent’s absolute power over […]

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