Never Forget

With the recent 20th anniversary of the terror attacks on 9/11, “Never Forget” is everywhere. It’s on signs, T shirts, social media, mugs. It has taken on the aspect of an incantation. But what does it really mean? For anyone in this country who was at least 10 years old on September 11th 2001, there […]

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Bar Mitzvahs & Such

To my middle school son on attending his first Bar Mitzvah, How exciting! Do you feel grown up? You should. Being raised Christian, you may not know that Bar & Bat Mitzvah means son and daughter of the covenant. Judaism can claim a long and rich religious and cultural heritage, and this is the time […]

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The Three A’s

“A” marks the beginning of the alphabet. But it can also mark the end of a relationship. There are three circumstances, beginning with “a” that can tank a relationship, and they are (1) abuse, (2) addiction, and (3) an affair. When any of these things are going on, problems in a relationship cannot even begin […]

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Maternal Sexual Abuse

Maternal Sexual Abuse: mothers sexually abusing their children – is that really a thing? Alas, yes it is. How do I know? From research. And from the fact that it happened to me. My mother abused my brother and my sister and me in every way that it’s possible to abuse a child. Including sexual […]

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Delta Variant

The Covid Delta variant has driven up cases nationally 200% in the last two weeks.  Delta: the 4th letter of the Greek alphabet, nutrient-rich land at the mouth of a river, and Elle Wood’s sorority (with Nu) in Legally Blonde. Benign, right? Yes, until very recently when it has been used to identify a new, […]

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Whose Flag Is It Anyway?

Last February I acquired a Black History Month flag at an event in town. I taped it to the railing of my front steps. Then in June I acquired a Pride flag at an event in a nearby town. I taped that to the other side of the railing. At some point, I decided that […]

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Abused Men

People tend to think that men cannot be abused in a relationship. We are all too familiar with women who are physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. In fact, most abuse victims are women. However there are a steady minority of abuse victims who are men. Our culture leads us to believe that men cannot be […]

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Memories Before Words

Is there memory before words? I have memories stored in my body.  My shoulders are my pet rocks.  Even though they are scrawny and unremarkable, they never relax, and in fact spend much of their time right below my ears.  I tend to always have a stomach ache.  To stop the endless questions concerning why […]

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Codependency Blues

Codependency is a popular concept. It’s been around for awhile now, and no one seems to take issue with it.  I do.  Codependency generally refers to the behaviors of someone who is in a relationship with a substance abuser, be it a spouse, parent, child or friend. What I take issue with is that the […]

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Trauma & The Body

Trauma lives below the neck. This makes it difficult for our thinking brains to access it. That is why trauma can overwhelm us, overtake us, sabotage us, and we don’t know why. That is why trauma survivors can say and do things that don’t make sense, even to them. For example, a veteran can be […]

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