Getting in Trouble, Part II

When I grew up, I discovered I had a lot to learn if I were to have any success with getting in trouble, which I now saw in terms of advocacy.  I first had to struggle with the internal/personal aspects. Did all those years as the new kid in so many schools hardwire me to […]

Read More

Getting in Trouble, Part I

I was an extremely compliant child.  Children of psychopaths don’t really have a choice. I hardly ever got in trouble, either at home or at school.  I was submissive, studious, and not only cleaned my room but the whole damn house. I was a parentified child to the max, making lunch for my mother and […]

Read More

Trusting Your Instincts

In our digital world, you don’t need to consult an expert or even read a book to get parenting advice.  It’s everywhere online, especially Mom’s groups on social media. It takes thoughtful consideration, but also courage to trust one’s instincts concerning our children. We had three little girls, and then the last one was a […]

Read More

Looking Back on a Bad Day

Having been raised by a psychopath (more about that later), I had no internalized model of decent parenting. Except how not to do things. As clarification, a narcissist lacks empathy and a psychopath lacks both empathy and a conscience. A narcissist can hurt others in a frantic attempt to fill the emptiness inside. A psychopath […]

Read More

My Mother is Unbelievable

My 95 year-old mother died recently, terribly disappointed that I didn’t die first. As she was pushing 90, she almost ran me over. I’d heard the hiss of brakes as I got out of the car in front of the post office. There she was, behind the wheel of her custom-made Cadillac – so close, […]

Read More

Can You Apologize to a Baby?

Spoiler alert:  you most definitely can!  I learned this when my first child was six months old, and it proved to be one of my most important parenting lessons. When I wasn’t rushing out to work, one of my favorite pastimes was lingering over a morning cup of coffee.  After the baby was born, I’d […]

Read More