Musings on an October Day

I took a walk today and the trees and the sky and the geese and the translucent air were just spectacular.  A glance in just about any direction would pile on heart-stopping reds and yellows and Christmas-tree green and summer-tree green all suspended on an arc of faultless blue.  It was stunning.  I like it […]

Read More

Childhood Crime & Conscience

Growing up I always liked myself best when I was doing something bad.  This is in spite of the terror I felt of being found out and punished.  I was almost never bad, which I now see stunted my personal growth in many ways.  I was a parentified child to the max, making lunch and […]

Read More

Never Forget

With the recent 20th anniversary of the terror attacks on 9/11, “Never Forget” is everywhere. It’s on signs, T shirts, social media, mugs. It has taken on the aspect of an incantation. But what does it really mean? For anyone in this country who was at least 10 years old on September 11th 2001, there […]

Read More

Bar Mitzvahs & Such

To my middle school son on attending his first Bar Mitzvah, How exciting! Do you feel grown up? You should. Being raised Christian, you may not know that Bar & Bat Mitzvah means son and daughter of the covenant. Judaism can claim a long and rich religious and cultural heritage, and this is the time […]

Read More

The Three A’s

“A” marks the beginning of the alphabet. But it can also mark the end of a relationship. There are three circumstances, beginning with “a” that can tank a relationship, and they are (1) abuse, (2) addiction, and (3) an affair. When any of these things are going on, problems in a relationship cannot even begin […]

Read More

Maternal Sexual Abuse

Maternal Sexual Abuse: mothers sexually abusing their children – is that really a thing? Alas, yes it is. How do I know? From research. And from the fact that it happened to me. My mother abused my brother and my sister and me in every way that it’s possible to abuse a child. Including sexual […]

Read More

Delta Variant

The Covid Delta variant has driven up cases nationally 200% in the last two weeks.  Delta: the 4th letter of the Greek alphabet, nutrient-rich land at the mouth of a river, and Elle Wood’s sorority (with Nu) in Legally Blonde. Benign, right? Yes, until very recently when it has been used to identify a new, […]

Read More

Whose Flag Is It Anyway?

Last February I acquired a Black History Month flag at an event in town. I taped it to the railing of my front steps. Then in June I acquired a Pride flag at an event in a nearby town. I taped that to the other side of the railing. At some point, I decided that […]

Read More

Abused Men

People tend to think that men cannot be abused in a relationship. We are all too familiar with women who are physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. In fact, most abuse victims are women. However there are a steady minority of abuse victims who are men. Our culture leads us to believe that men cannot be […]

Read More

Memories Before Words

Is there memory before words? I have memories stored in my body.  My shoulders are my pet rocks.  Even though they are scrawny and unremarkable, they never relax, and in fact spend much of their time right below my ears.  I tend to always have a stomach ache.  To stop the endless questions concerning why […]

Read More